One Step at a Time ..

The Alarm went up at its usual time, but it was unusually difficult for Trisha to get up. The last 15 days have been super hectic – with Samar being ill, critical project deadline, Vinay travelling and to top it all no maid. Things were so messy and out of control that she requested her mother in law- who lives in Jaipur to come down for support.  

But thankfully things are getting back to normal. Samar joined school after a week-long break just yesterday, her final presentation would get over today, Vinay gets back home tonight and the weekend awaits with open arms. Trisha gathered all her courage and got up almost in a robotic style and started with her daily routine.

She was very happy to have things getting back to normal and also the fact that she has weekend for her to catch up on all the lost sleep. With things getting back to normal her mother in law decided to leave for Jaipur over the weekend, after she meets Vinay. She has been of great help holding the fort with all the challenges around. Trisha thought of planning something special for her before she leaves. It was her own way of saying thank you to her MIL and also to cover up for the fact that she hardly was able to spend any quality time with her.

While Trisha was getting Samar ready for school these thoughts were running back of her mind and a plan came to her almost instantly.

“Maa I will come home early today , Vinay also will be back tonight- let’s call Arun mama and family for dinner. Been long we guys met. It will be a good surprise for him too. “ Trisha said

“Are you sure? Will you be able to make it in time? “ Comes a quick reply 

Normally these kind of statements does upset Trisha but given that she was so excited and looking forward to the plan she didn’t react. Trisha calmly responded 

“Absolutely Maa, dont worry my presentation finishes at 2 and I will immediately leave post that. Will be fun . “

Quickly picking her and Samar’s stuff, Trisha said rushing out of the house “ Bye Maa,  you leave everything to me I will manage everything. “  

As soon as she sat in the car she called Arun Mama and invited him over for dinner. Arun Mama agreed and the plan was all set.

Arun Mama is the youngest of the siblings and is almost like son to Maa. Vinay and Arun Mama get along very well, just like friends. To add to the equation Samar shares a very good bond with Arun mama’s son – Veer.

With a huge grin Trisha looked at Samar and said “Samar boy are you ready to have fun? Arun Dadu and Veer bhaiya are going to be home tonight. And this will be a surprise for papa when he comes back tonight. Now you be a good boy and don’t drink anything cold in school. Mumma will pick you from Day care early today”

Samar was all smiles and gave a tight hug to Trisha and entered school.

As soon as Trisha entered office she immediately got all her focus to work and started to do the last minute revision and final touches to the presentation.

Trisha was fully engrossed in the slides, when she heard

“We good??”

She immediately looked up and see Sameer standing. With a reassuring smile responded

“Yup, all good”

“This will be an important presentation, the team and especially you have been working on it for a very long time . All the best Trisha “Sameer started to leave , just then Trisha interrupted and asked

“The meeting starts at 11 –right. No reschedules expected? “

“Yes absolutely , we have both MEA and APAC teams on call so no change . “ responded Sameer.

10.45 am – Trisha was in the meeting room , taking care of all possible details – projector, speaker , instructions to IT team and was making herself comfortable for the meeting.

Just then one of the admin staff walks in and said “ Trisha mam just got a message from global team, the meeting is rescheduled to 12.30 pm today. There is some critical matter that has come up at our  Singapore office and thus the delay. Apologies for the last minute change mam”

Trisha completely lost the plot at this point, and just sat down in frustration and anger.

Why ? Why ? Why? That’s all she kept saying and helplessly banging her wrist on the table.

Mind was running in multiple directions - What am I supposed to do now? The call will start at 12.30 and will easily go till 3.30 pm. When will I pick up Samar, how will I manage the dinner tonight, and what do I tell Maa? And with all this back of my mind, how am I supposed to handle the presentation with the APAC team? Why does it always happen with me, I have worked like crazy on this project - today was my chance to show my work  but with all this in my head I don’t even know what will I do

Was expecting a little happy moment with family wrong? Why it has to come crashing at all times.  

It might not have been more than 10 minutes since Trisha was into this, she already felt extremely weak and tired and getting hit by a headache. While she was entangled in the threads of these questions- suddenly the phone rang .

Maa Calling

Trisha kept looking at the phone and just could’nt gather the courage to pick up and talk. The call got disconnected.

This isn’t right – whatever it is I will have to face it , said Trisha to herself.

She almost immediately called back “ sorry maa missed your call “

 “Trisha I was thinking of making Dahi vade for evening, Arun and Vinay both like it a lot . Can you get some imli for the chutney on your way back? “ Said Maa

It was like someone has poured a bucket full of ice water on her, someone who is preparing with so much enthusiasm where does she get the heart to say I am not coming now. That helpless stare at the ceiling and with closed eyes Trisha responded  

“ Maa I will order the stuff and get the delivery done just now but I am stuck at work and  will come home only by 6 pm. “

“What happened  ? What about the dinner tonight? You should have not planned the dinner tonight? Said Maa,  in a concerned voice.

“Maa, don’t worry all will be managed. Something just happened that’s not in my control. I will not let the evening plan get ruined. You please carry on with your plan as earlier.” Reassured Trisha

God only knows how Trisha handled this conversation. She had no clue of what needs to be done, but didn’t wanted to hide the facts too. This is something she has learnt with experience, there was a time when just to keep others happy she used to hide true feelings and facts or say things the other person wants to hear. That used to leave her struggling from within, so for her own peace after Samar was born she had decided to be what she is and not hide anything to make the other person happy.

One stare at the clock – 11.30 am.

Trisha wanted to desperately talk to someone; she was so restless and tensed. She called her best friend but as luck would have it; her friend was busy in a meeting and couldn’t take her call. This just added to the frustration and helplessness. For a couple of minutes Trisha aimlessly kept staring at the screen and then what started was the self-pep talk series by Trisha for Trisha. (at times having the entire meeting room to yourself is also goodJ

What is wrong with you Trisha? What is the problem- you won’t be able to make it in time for a dinner? Or you won’t be able to cook? OR The things are not happening as per your plan? You can’t mess it up like this Trisha, lot of hard work has gone behind this. Even when your child was unwell you did not lose sight of this presentation. How can you just loose this by mere change in the meeting timing? What was the idea of the dinner tonight? 

Having a good time together, saying thankyou to Maa for her support and a surprise for Vinay. 

Where are these getting missed, with the changed meeting timing? Arun mama and family will come over not to eat food cooked by you but to meet and spend good time. What is more important? 

Creating memories and sharing smiles. That will happen. Right now what is the priority - focus  on the presentation. If this goes wrong even you making in time for the dinner will not help. You can do it Trisha, you can do it. Just stay calm and take one step at a time.

That very moment, Trisha switched her mind off everything else and got back to the presentation. She started her revision once again and kept looking at the backup slides and her prep notes.

The meeting started sharp at 12.35 pm with full participation form MEA , APAC and India team. The meeting was a grilling one – it was to present the scorecard around a new product launch. The MEA team is a tough one, not an easy one to convince for sure. But glad all the homework was done well and all the relevant information was present. .

Meeting got wrapped up and Sameer was happy the way Trisha led it from the front. The MEA team too was supportive and left on a positive note.  

That sighs of relief- like a big heavy block getting off your head. The newly found energy, that you can conquer the world, that confident and comfortable look said it all. 

Trisha started to wrap up and picked up her phone to check. Saw a couple of missed calls and a message from Vinay

 “Boarded, see you soon”

Trisha smiled looking at her phone.

“Hey Sameer, I am leaving for the day. A personal commitment that needs my attention, I will block sometime with you on Monday for a follow on discussion “Trisha said.

“Ok, it’s your day ‘Sameer responded back with a smile.

Trisha quickly wrapped up work and cleared last set of emails and made an exit. While she was walking towards the parking, Trisha was super excited and happy. How difficult was it to work on this presentation given the challenges at home, what all happened in this last month and what all she went through. The evening get-together looked even more meaningful after the meeting. She was eagerly waiting for Vinay, it’s been over a month he has been away.

Trisha finally entered home at 6 pm with a super excited Samar and all the grocery and food items.

Food, snacks and deserts were all ordered from a nearby Indian restaurant, and Trisha just kept the beverage and serving department with her. She quickly changed and got started with settling the stuff and getting the crockery out. 

Arun Mama and family arrived a little later and from that very moment it was a different world – there were giggles, laughter, and chatter all around. They all were meeting after almost a year but it didn’t feel like. All logistics were well managed and everyone was having a good time. The carefree smiles said it all.

Everyone now was eagerly waiting for Vinay and to see his reaction. At 9.30 pm Vinay came and his reaction was priceless. There was a festival kind of environment in the house and it all looked so lively.

Trisha was a happy soul that moment.

‘Now that Vinay has come, let me quickly serve dinner “Trisha announced

While getting the table ready, Trisha could not help but revisiting the events of the day in her mind.  

That time in the day it was impossible to even imagine that the evening will unfold like this.

At times we complicate the situation by over thinking about it. Situations might look extremely tough; you may feel helpless, angry and frustrated but that is all a result of our over and negative thinking. By imagining the possible negative outcomes and reactions, we just make the situation even more complex. We can’t control the future or people’s reaction but we can take control of the present and focus on the right thing.

At times what really is required is to “Stay calm, stay focused and take one step at a time”

Break Ke Baad !!

Since childhood, Break as a word and concept has been very close to my heart. Till the time I was a student this word “ break “ had special powers to make me smile just at the thought of it. I am still carrying its love with me  – in form of love handles and atleast extra 10 kgs around my tummy.

During the growing up years , I frequently entered war zones with myself. Troubled with questions , clarity of thought . Questions like “ who am I ? “ what am I here to do “ “ how can I add value” these questions come only to very great people , so I didn’t get either of them. My problems were “ Why is my mother not increasing my pocket money” “ why cant I go on a trip or late night parties “ “ when will I have a boyfriend ? “ Those war zones always lead me to a silent break  me time ; where I used to keep talking to myself , GOD and keep presenting my case both as a defence lawyer and public prosecutor. The real twist was – I was playing the judge too .

But this always worked for me , I always landed up getting clarity and feeling better – for the next few weeks at least. 

As I graduated out of college, and entered into the new world and the REAL world I often found myself lost . Lost not because I don’t know what to do, lost because there was so much to do all alone. When you enter the professional world, one has little idea what to expect. We are just bubbles of energy flowing around in the office atmosphere. I wasn’t clear what I want to be 10 years from then, so I decided to give my 100% to everything I do.  Crazy work load, but I was loving every bit of it. This was also the time I met my Mr.right. So when I met Mr. Right – things immediately clicked, we were like long lost friends. We together would be on phone almost always ( No wonder Airtel was doing so well then ) 

And when all was going well, I asked for a break from Mr, Right too. Reason- all was too good to be true , maybe we have just got used to each other , our being together was a result of our boredom, or lack of options in the otherwise boring office. So let’s call splits, and see what it is for real. It was almost a 10 month long break, we had just basic contact during this time and yo ho it worked “ I got the clarity and the conviction that this was true “ and mr right realized that he loved me madly  , because even with the most weird ask he didn’t killed me and waited for that long.  

Break in life is very important and after my few successful ventures at it , I have been suggesting this to lot of my friends and family. No one really agrees with me, but I still continue as I feel its my Karma to enlighten humanity :)

When I became a mother , In my entire family ( including distant relatives as well) I was the first one to invent break from child concept. I was looked down upon by my own mother . She was so apologetic to inculcate such “ sanskaars “ in me. But still I went for my alone trips to my friend’s place for short durations. Those short breaks worked wonders, as I used to love my child and my motherly duties more after them. 

Our mind and body very quickly goes into a routine and if the routine is not broken once in a while, we get the constant itchy feeling. 80% of the people live with this itch and subside the inner voice . 20% like me take time to listen and amend accordingly. (the numbers are not based on any statistical research ) Like regular servicing for vehicles is required, life need servicing too. People across ages, professions should think about it. Life is to live and not just survive.

Listen to yourself, we all need fuel and timely servicing to go on and LIVE.

P.S_ Duration of the break may vary from individual to individual. It can range for few hours to a few years.

Connect to life, connect to yourself

It was 6pm and the office was almost empty. Trisha was helplessly staring at herself in the mirror in the restroom. Despite of trying very hard she couldn’t hold back her tears and finally she let emotions take over her completely. Her tears now turning into loud sobs. Aware of her surroundings she was trying to control herself but all attempts were going in vain. Just then Trisha heard someone walking into the restroom, almost in a reflex action she started to wash her face. It was the housekeeping lady. Trying to avoid an eye contact, Trisha quickly made an exit.  Even though it was few minutes of crying her head was already feeling heavy and eyes tired. As she walked towards her desk, various things were doing rounds in her head. She knew there is a task that needs her focus right now, but she was feeling so helpless and weak. She just felt like running away from everything and hide away in an unknown place, where no one knows her.

In few minutes she reached her workstation and opened her laptop but unknowingly her mind went to the call she got yesterday from her boss; Sameer.

“Trisha we have the presentation with R&F day after , keep the slides ready and we can review them tomorrow. It’s a follow on from our last meeting with them, so just focus on the key asks and we should be good”

“Sure Sameer, will work on it tomorrow and will be ready with the draft by evening for your review” Trisha responded

R&F was an old but an extremely demanding client. Trisha has been working for them for the last 2 years and knows the team pretty well now. The presentation was for a new project that’s going to get started with R&F. She had to leave office as she had to pick up Samar from day care and then reach home in time. Vinay’s office colleagues were coming over for dinner tonight, so Trisha had to get the house in order for the get together.  

She hurriedly left office and on her way to the day care picked up grocery.  Once she reached home quickly got to the task- setting the table, ordering food and cooking some khichdi for Samar. The entire evening went by very quickly and it was 11.30 pm by the time guests left. Trisha cleaned up the house before finally retiring to bed at 12.30 am. The last thought before she dozed off was around the presentation for R&F- “Tomorrow’s entire day needs to be devoted to the presentation. Will get it reviewed with Sameer by 5ish”

Today when she walked into the office with her plan of dedicating the entire day to just the R&F presentation, she got a call from MD’s office and she was asked to represent her company at an external event that was happening in Delhi. Since it was MD’s ask she couldn’t have said no. The external event and the associated travel took a great share of her day today and then there was a review meeting with Sameer and the entire team. Despite of being fully exhausted she was just about to start her work on the presentation; there is a ping on her laptop screen by Sameer- “ Let’s review the presentation for tomorrow, walk over to my cabin ..I need to leave by 6 today.” Shocked, tired, confused, fuming with anger she kept looking at the screen. Sameer was aware of her being away at the external event and she was with him in the review meeting, when did Sameer think she had time to be ready with the slides? She didn’t know what to respond and walked away to his cabin.

Hi Sameer , Can I come in ; said Trisha

Come in ; was Sameer’s cold response.

Sameer, I will take some time to put the slides up. Today has been a hectic day, due to the eternal event and the review meetings we had. I will be able to mail you the slides by later tonight or early morning. As this is the follow on meeting with the client should not be….

“ R&F is one of our most valued clients , we can’t be casual with them. I am wondering why we were waiting for the last day. “ Sameer interrupted Trisha

“Sameer I got the confirmation just yesterday…” Trisha tried putting her point

Sameer started to pack his stuff , with a cold face and said “ I don’t have much to say, all I can say is it could have been planned better. Lets hope the presentation goes fine tomorrow. I will wait for your slides. Message me once you mail them to me….”

And he stands to leave.

Trisha was so frustrated at his attitude. Despite of giving her best to the job, and being a top performer this the response she gets. She was filled with anger and frustration. She wanted to shout and say “ GET LOST “ and run away. It was just then her phone rang, it was from Samar’s day care.

 “Mam , Samar has fever since afternoon”

Oh no , How much is the fever? Did you give him Crocin? Trisha Asked nervously

Yes we did , but there isn’t much relief. Suggest you have to come and pick him up early. , Said the day care Teacher.  

This was it, the final jolt of sorts. And Trisha just walked into the restroom.

She didn’t realize but she was still aimlessly staring at her laptop, while all this was running like a reel in her head. Standing up suddenly she took her phone and stole and started to walk towards the elevator. There was no plan , she just wanted to get some fresh air and a hot cup of coffee.

While waiting for the elevator, she made a quick call to Vinay .

“ Vinni,  need some help. Got a call from Sam’s day care; the boy has fever and we need to pick him up from the daycare now. I am stuck at office and wont be able to leave, can you go and pick him up ? “

“ Ohh no . Ok I’ll leave now . “ Was Vinay;s instant response.

She entered the elevator, her mind was not at peace at all and she asked herself what am I doing? Am I good mother? Am I a good professional? Why do I always fail ? Cant I plan better?

Trisha was blank , she was feeling so weak. All she wanted to do was to cry for hours. She walked upto her favorite joint and picked up a cappuccino. She made herself comfortable on a bench in the park just below her office. The cool Nov breeze and hot coffee were perfect partner for her at this time.

While she sipped her coffee she started to ponder on her life, what all she went thru and how have things changed.

Trisha has been a go getter and a strong girl. She lost her father when she was in college. And being the eldest child she had to start working very early to support the family. She has had a tough life, with a night job and college studies during the day. Post her graduation in Economics from DU , she managed to get a job with an MNC. She has given her 120% to her job and her 4 promotions in past 10 years are testimony of that hard work. She has had some wonderful colleagues and managers to work with. They all have a role to play in her corporate success. Vinay is a nice guy and has always supported her in all her decisions. She can’t forget how he stood up with her when she wanted to resume work post Samar’s birth. Her in-laws were against her resuming work and sending Samar to a Day care. But it was Vinay’s support that she was able to resume work.

She has bagged the best employee award thrice in last 7 years.

It was her 32^nd birthday just 4 months back and what a lovely surprise party her family and friends had organized for her. They had made a poster for Trisha, with messages from family and friends. All of them had written such sweet and lovely messages for her, best was from her husband and her mother. “ Happy birthday to our Jhansi ki Rani , our eldest Son- from Maa and Papa

“ To my magician , who adds color to my life “ Vinay

She didn’t realize but her eyes were moist with these thought. She is blessed to have these people in her life.They have stood with her and loved her for what she is. 

Today is just one bad day, she is a fighter and can’t be giving up to just one bad day. Life had given her worst situations to handle, this is just a day and this shall pass very soon. She is her papa’s “Jhansi ki Rani “ and Vinay’s “ Magician “ . How can she even think of running away?

It was like fresh energy running in her mind and body with these thoughts.

“ I am OK and I will do it “ Trisha said these word ‘s and got up to walk towards her workstation.   

The girl who was walking back to the office is not the same girl who came down an hour back. She was under control and clear in her head. More than that she was feeling positive and blessed.

She started her work on the slides. With the positive mind frame, it took her less time than what she had expected. She was able to wrap up the work by 10 pm and mailed the presentation to Sameer. While packing her stuff, she messaged Sameer - “Presentation Mailed, have a look. Thanks”

While driving back home, she was at peace and beaming with positivity. The day will be special in her memory.

Life is a great teacher and we as humans have immense power to overcome our fears. All we need to do is to connect with ourselves to get us that power . When we look back, we know what have we gone thru to reach where we are today- those experiences ; good and bad are our true learnings. There are so many people who have partnered with us in this journey and those are are our real treasures. At times it gets so important to spend some time connecting to our life, to ourselves. There are days when things don’t go right, we feel lost and weak. Those are the days when we need to drive our strength from our past, our loved ones and ourselves. Life is not a struggle, it’s a journey; a continuous journey of exploring our own new potential.

Expectations !!

It was a lovely Saturday morning and we were out to visit family just before Diwali. We were having a nice family time in the car, less traffic, nice music on FM and good weather.  And then, there comes the song from “ yeh Jawaani hai Deewani” …… “ Banno ri Banno …” This is one of my favorite songs. While I was humming it along , suddenly got senti after the first two lines, thinking of the day my daughter will get married and leave me. I have seen my mother go thru exactly same emotions, seeing Hum Apke Hain Koun almost two decades back. I even recall laughing at her and saying” mummy aap bhi na..meri shaadi kal hai kya” And here am I doing the same thing when my daughter is not even 5 .

I was almost about to drop a tear when my husband tells me – “ you are MAD. Times are changing so fast, who knows what will happen when these kids grow up? We are not even sure will they marry or not? “

This statement of his got me thinking. He was right, times are changing. So should I really  worry of the fact my daughter leaving me and going off to her husband’s home. ? While the times are changing, but are the rituals changing to keep pace with it? The point my husband raised was – will marriage happen or not? But if it does my daughter has to leave her parents’ house.  

Why ? We are talking of an equal world here. We witness numerous debates around women equality,   “ can women have it all” and work life balance etc? Why cant we have a REAL equal environment for both men and women here?

To my mind marriage is the starting point of all the mis- match. Really!! Have you ever heard any girl mentioning about work life balance , having it all etc till she is with her parents. What changes all of a sudden with just marriage that all the ladies start feeling it and talking about it?  

All starts with mis-match of expectations and certain rituals- those were set in early eras keeping in mind the scenario then. But now as things are changing, changed- we need change there too.

We give best treatment to our daughters, love them deeply, tell them that they are no less than boys and they can compete with them on all fronts. And then what happens? When our child wants to settle, we happily marry her off and push her into a world that still carries expectations of old ages. From here the expectation mis match game starts.

The girl is expected to adjust to the new family, new family culture, new relatives, boy’s parents…boy’s home…take care of the house, the kitchen , relatives and the list goes on.

Marriage - the first encounter of the boy vs girl family. I still see around me that boy’s mother, father, sister are given special treatment at weddings? Boy’s mother should get a bigger gift, those are the discussions that mostly do rounds. Why ? Why I still don't hear conversations where boys family discusses what is to be given to girl’s mother or father.

Many couples do live away from parents these days- but the mental alignment still has to happen as per the new family ways. Like all the festivals, Puja’s etc will arrive only post marriage when the girl starts to get calls from her mother – inlaw to follow those. Like these days had not arrived ever before.

It is ok for the boy to not call girl’s parents, but it becomes issue of world peace if the girl doesn’t regularly call her Mother inlaw or even the Sister in law.

A boys house being dirty and uncleaned is ok before marriage and the mother will happily clean it also . But the moment he gets married a dirty house is directly reflected on girl’s capacity to manage a house.

These days lot of the house management is done by domestic help, but the mental engagement still lies with the girl. Making of the grocery list , telling the maid what needs to be cooked, what is to be done, what gifts to be given to which family member, selecting the maids….pheww

If we really talk of the real EQUALITY why is it that these things are not shared?Our rituals were made such to keep the girls on a differential platform in the olden times. Till today post marriage these un-said expectations are still passed on to the girl.

If “ The having it all “ debate needs to rest …we need to make some changes to our society rules , changes to the mindset. Ages back when these rules and rituals were made a lady was a home maker- her role was to just look after the house. Men were the one who goes out and earn. Now while the women have taken the additional responsibility of earning, but the home making expectation still lies with her.

Our earlier generation I tell you were much more sorted in their heads. They were not the confused souls like we are. Girls have to be dominated, they are the weak specie- so differential treatment starts at home itself, - different food, and different benefits as compared to their brothers. Brother plays with friends goes to school while the girl helps mother at home. The girl is sorted in her head…this is what is her life. So after marriage there is nothing that changes for her. She still is the less privileged and does the household work.

What are we doing? We have eliminated the differential treatment at home. We show them false pictures. Only to go and settle in the old set up.

So how do we tackle it? Lets try and start with this one suggestive change.

What is marriage? Its an institution in which two adult people , decide to spend their life together

So let us treat it accordingly, i.e at face value. Two adults settling together in a new life- get married and move into your own new home. Both boy and girl both leave their parents’ home, culture, rituals and move literally into a new life.  Let both of them build all their homes, set new rules and rituals for them, The couple however continue to do their duties towards their parents as required. Support them financially, physically ( by taking a house closer ) , provide security.

Lets together create a world of equal expectations from the girl and boy.

If girl’s parents are ill, the boy can take a leave and take care of them too. If the girl’s younger sister gets married , the boy can contribute to the marriage and support his in laws too. The gifts become a give and take activity. Boy’s mother get a bigger gift , so does girl’s mother. If there is a medical expense on either side of the parents , both the partners contribute equally.

The other very important phase post marriage – having a baby. This also has to be managed between the two. The couple is no longer with their parents, so the decision has to be how these two will manage the child between them. Grandparents should not conveniently come into picture to just take care of grand children. We can’t compete with the natures law. So what has to be done by a women - it will be . But anything and everything outside is up for help and support.Burping the child, making him/her sleep, what meals have to be cooked, how it has to be cooked, nutrition value, doctor’s visit, track of vaccination, homework , taking care of an ill child, taking kids to activity classes, getting ready for extra activities at school. All work load has to be divided equally. 

 

It’s a mindset that we need to change.

The men in today’s world are doing much more than earlier generations- AGREE. But they need to pace up their steps as girls have moved ahead very fast. Take initiative as they do at work and always don’t wait for instructions to be given and followed. And the boys alone can’t do anything alone, society’s , parents outlook needs to change too.

May be I am asking too much , may be its just a wishful thinking. Who knows? But worth a thought for sure. Unless some major changes are made, I feel the females will keep getting entangled with the war of “ having it all and stress" if the expectations from them are not sorted .

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