Connect to life, connect to yourself

It was 6pm and the office was almost empty. Trisha was helplessly staring at herself in the mirror in the restroom. Despite of trying very hard she couldn’t hold back her tears and finally she let emotions take over her completely. Her tears now turning into loud sobs. Aware of her surroundings she was trying to control herself but all attempts were going in vain. Just then Trisha heard someone walking into the restroom, almost in a reflex action she started to wash her face. It was the housekeeping lady. Trying to avoid an eye contact, Trisha quickly made an exit.  Even though it was few minutes of crying her head was already feeling heavy and eyes tired. As she walked towards her desk, various things were doing rounds in her head. She knew there is a task that needs her focus right now, but she was feeling so helpless and weak. She just felt like running away from everything and hide away in an unknown place, where no one knows her.

In few minutes she reached her workstation and opened her laptop but unknowingly her mind went to the call she got yesterday from her boss; Sameer.

“Trisha we have the presentation with R&F day after , keep the slides ready and we can review them tomorrow. It’s a follow on from our last meeting with them, so just focus on the key asks and we should be good”

“Sure Sameer, will work on it tomorrow and will be ready with the draft by evening for your review” Trisha responded

R&F was an old but an extremely demanding client. Trisha has been working for them for the last 2 years and knows the team pretty well now. The presentation was for a new project that’s going to get started with R&F. She had to leave office as she had to pick up Samar from day care and then reach home in time. Vinay’s office colleagues were coming over for dinner tonight, so Trisha had to get the house in order for the get together.  

She hurriedly left office and on her way to the day care picked up grocery.  Once she reached home quickly got to the task- setting the table, ordering food and cooking some khichdi for Samar. The entire evening went by very quickly and it was 11.30 pm by the time guests left. Trisha cleaned up the house before finally retiring to bed at 12.30 am. The last thought before she dozed off was around the presentation for R&F- “Tomorrow’s entire day needs to be devoted to the presentation. Will get it reviewed with Sameer by 5ish”

Today when she walked into the office with her plan of dedicating the entire day to just the R&F presentation, she got a call from MD’s office and she was asked to represent her company at an external event that was happening in Delhi. Since it was MD’s ask she couldn’t have said no. The external event and the associated travel took a great share of her day today and then there was a review meeting with Sameer and the entire team. Despite of being fully exhausted she was just about to start her work on the presentation; there is a ping on her laptop screen by Sameer- “ Let’s review the presentation for tomorrow, walk over to my cabin ..I need to leave by 6 today.” Shocked, tired, confused, fuming with anger she kept looking at the screen. Sameer was aware of her being away at the external event and she was with him in the review meeting, when did Sameer think she had time to be ready with the slides? She didn’t know what to respond and walked away to his cabin.

Hi Sameer , Can I come in ; said Trisha

Come in ; was Sameer’s cold response.

Sameer, I will take some time to put the slides up. Today has been a hectic day, due to the eternal event and the review meetings we had. I will be able to mail you the slides by later tonight or early morning. As this is the follow on meeting with the client should not be….

“ R&F is one of our most valued clients , we can’t be casual with them. I am wondering why we were waiting for the last day. “ Sameer interrupted Trisha

“Sameer I got the confirmation just yesterday…” Trisha tried putting her point

Sameer started to pack his stuff , with a cold face and said “ I don’t have much to say, all I can say is it could have been planned better. Lets hope the presentation goes fine tomorrow. I will wait for your slides. Message me once you mail them to me….”

And he stands to leave.

Trisha was so frustrated at his attitude. Despite of giving her best to the job, and being a top performer this the response she gets. She was filled with anger and frustration. She wanted to shout and say “ GET LOST “ and run away. It was just then her phone rang, it was from Samar’s day care.

 “Mam , Samar has fever since afternoon”

Oh no , How much is the fever? Did you give him Crocin? Trisha Asked nervously

Yes we did , but there isn’t much relief. Suggest you have to come and pick him up early. , Said the day care Teacher.  

This was it, the final jolt of sorts. And Trisha just walked into the restroom.

She didn’t realize but she was still aimlessly staring at her laptop, while all this was running like a reel in her head. Standing up suddenly she took her phone and stole and started to walk towards the elevator. There was no plan , she just wanted to get some fresh air and a hot cup of coffee.

While waiting for the elevator, she made a quick call to Vinay .

“ Vinni,  need some help. Got a call from Sam’s day care; the boy has fever and we need to pick him up from the daycare now. I am stuck at office and wont be able to leave, can you go and pick him up ? “

“ Ohh no . Ok I’ll leave now . “ Was Vinay;s instant response.

She entered the elevator, her mind was not at peace at all and she asked herself what am I doing? Am I good mother? Am I a good professional? Why do I always fail ? Cant I plan better?

Trisha was blank , she was feeling so weak. All she wanted to do was to cry for hours. She walked upto her favorite joint and picked up a cappuccino. She made herself comfortable on a bench in the park just below her office. The cool Nov breeze and hot coffee were perfect partner for her at this time.

While she sipped her coffee she started to ponder on her life, what all she went thru and how have things changed.

Trisha has been a go getter and a strong girl. She lost her father when she was in college. And being the eldest child she had to start working very early to support the family. She has had a tough life, with a night job and college studies during the day. Post her graduation in Economics from DU , she managed to get a job with an MNC. She has given her 120% to her job and her 4 promotions in past 10 years are testimony of that hard work. She has had some wonderful colleagues and managers to work with. They all have a role to play in her corporate success. Vinay is a nice guy and has always supported her in all her decisions. She can’t forget how he stood up with her when she wanted to resume work post Samar’s birth. Her in-laws were against her resuming work and sending Samar to a Day care. But it was Vinay’s support that she was able to resume work.

She has bagged the best employee award thrice in last 7 years.

It was her 32^nd birthday just 4 months back and what a lovely surprise party her family and friends had organized for her. They had made a poster for Trisha, with messages from family and friends. All of them had written such sweet and lovely messages for her, best was from her husband and her mother. “ Happy birthday to our Jhansi ki Rani , our eldest Son- from Maa and Papa

“ To my magician , who adds color to my life “ Vinay

She didn’t realize but her eyes were moist with these thought. She is blessed to have these people in her life.They have stood with her and loved her for what she is. 

Today is just one bad day, she is a fighter and can’t be giving up to just one bad day. Life had given her worst situations to handle, this is just a day and this shall pass very soon. She is her papa’s “Jhansi ki Rani “ and Vinay’s “ Magician “ . How can she even think of running away?

It was like fresh energy running in her mind and body with these thoughts.

“ I am OK and I will do it “ Trisha said these word ‘s and got up to walk towards her workstation.   

The girl who was walking back to the office is not the same girl who came down an hour back. She was under control and clear in her head. More than that she was feeling positive and blessed.

She started her work on the slides. With the positive mind frame, it took her less time than what she had expected. She was able to wrap up the work by 10 pm and mailed the presentation to Sameer. While packing her stuff, she messaged Sameer - “Presentation Mailed, have a look. Thanks”

While driving back home, she was at peace and beaming with positivity. The day will be special in her memory.

Life is a great teacher and we as humans have immense power to overcome our fears. All we need to do is to connect with ourselves to get us that power . When we look back, we know what have we gone thru to reach where we are today- those experiences ; good and bad are our true learnings. There are so many people who have partnered with us in this journey and those are are our real treasures. At times it gets so important to spend some time connecting to our life, to ourselves. There are days when things don’t go right, we feel lost and weak. Those are the days when we need to drive our strength from our past, our loved ones and ourselves. Life is not a struggle, it’s a journey; a continuous journey of exploring our own new potential.