One Life- One Me !!!

All of us have just got this one life and what we land up doing with it , is in our own hands. We can either live or just breathe. Living is more than just inhaling and exhaling air. It hurts me to see , when asked simple questions like- what do you like doing ? What gives you happiness ? Things you do for yourself? People are at loss of words and don't know what to answer. They say , they got so lost in performing various roles that they never thought of all these things.
We waste our life in chasing expectations of others, and in a race which never ends, one can only get tired but can never win it.
The idea of being nice to people and being " perfect" can be very taxing, as people are many and their expectations are far too many.
At various situations in life one gets into the mode of - " I have to prove that I am the best " " I want to be the greatest person in the relationship
Examples of such junctures in life- marriage, entering a new relationship, making new friends, new job ...
In chasing these end result , in no time we loose touch with our self. And frustration just builds on. Despite giving your 100% you still hear complaints.
People come and tell you , that you are not doing a good job and more is expected.
And since we had given it our 100% , when we dont get what we should have - anger and frustration build up. Ultimate outcome unhappy , un-satisfied people all around.
We all have witnessed endless stories of how you are being harassed by your boss, your husband , your MIL etc .
Just last weekend I was sitting and having my afternoon coffee where I saw two girlfriends meet . The way they were happy seeing each other and obviously their loud voices told me they meeting after a long time and they were really happy to be seeing each other.
But after initial happiness and excitement settled in no time the conversation took the turn where they landed up sharing how angry they are with people in their life. Incidences where how ones mother in law is acting tough and the other how her husband has been treating her. I could see the expressions change from of happy to anger, disgust and helplessness
I wasn't there for the entire time - but strongly felt the time that could have been used to cherish about good memories , by repeating sad incidences they both would have left with a heavy heart
While I am a very strong supporter of the fact that if you share your feelings , you feel better . But when time is less one should prioritize and focus on creating positive and happy feelings from the meeting.
Such happy meetings are key as they helps you forget the bad incidence. And many a times post such happy meetings, you may feel you over reacted and the incidence was not worth it.
When we share small issues over and over again with different people - we just re live that bad moment again and again and feel the same amount of anger every time we share.
You need to sit and realize how much of strain is that once incidence or person worth it ??
Few rules - that I have arrived at after learning the hard way:

1. A person can either be happy or doing the " right " stuff as prescribed by society
2.  Few relations are such where you cannot be good. ( exceptions will always be there though) So dont even strive for it . Just accept the fact - people are different. 
3. At times give yourself priority over everything. 
4. Be honest in your actions and reactions - and leave it to people to decide if they like you or dislike you. The only person who has the right to change you is just you. 
5. A Perfect husband, perfect wife, perfect Bahu , perfect mother - are all myths. Nothing is perfect in this world, people love the imperfections and love you for what you are. 
6. If someone is bad/evil - leave it to destiny to take care if him/her. You are not here to show the world the right path. 
7. Count your blessings as many time as you can and be thankful.

Does all of it sound selfish to you ? No , not at all. It just says three things - First - do all your duties with 100% of your efforts, but dont attach your existence to someone else telling you that you are worth it.
Secondly cut away with all negativity in your life and focus on the blessings. 
And lastly - LIVE !!

Follow your heart ......

These days its rare we see happy faces around. I am not saying we see sad faces.
What we see these days are blank faces, expression less faces, lost faces and tired faces.

Energy is being injected by way of capsules.

Why is it ?

The world around us is so competitive, right from the school the competition sets in. While lot of focus is given to , how to win your way to success in this world, very little focus is around knowing yourself, winning yourself.
I see teens so smart and intelligent these days, they can talk on any topic - right from sensex to global warming. But none of them know what they like. Parents and teachers have spend enough to help kids explore the world of knowledge, but have forgotten to teach them to explore themselves.

Every individual is different and has different preferences in life. A similar approach can not mean happiness for all. Today all are part of a similar race. Thus we do what society feels is right , or what majority are doing , and we loose track of what we want to do.
A scientist might feel happy and satisfied by doing a new invention, but a creative person might feel stressed if he is asked to work on it.
There is no right or wrong about this , as it is all about individuals perspective.
Thus it is very important to know ourself - what we like, what gives us satisfaction , what gives us happiness.
We all recall our mothers or grandmothers - their life single motto was to feed people. The used to get immense happiness by just making delicacies and feeding the kids.
They knew they liked it and thus spent so much time on it and were so satisfied at the end of it.
So its not a question of what ? how big ? pleasures can be from daily , basic stuff . 

As kids we all have this ability to enjoy little things we do- thus if kids feel over the top even with smallest of things.
As we grow up we tend to do more sophisticated and logical stuff and loose sight of real pleasurable things

While I do understand its not possible to just follow your heart , as for meeting your daily requirements we all need to do stuff where essentially over heart doesn't lie. This is ok. But the point is as long as daily a feed is going into a zone which we like- our job is done. 
So if you work for 9 hrs- take 1 hour for yourself where you do a thing that you like.
Trust me that one hour will have such a great impact on you- the blank , lost faces will get the smiles back.

To Do-

1. To take out time to regularly talk to yourself
2. Dig yourself to find out what you love
3. Dont judge yourself with what others are doing
4. you can be doing exactly the opposite of what the world feels is right - its OK!!
5. Invest in yourself
6. Dedicate time to pursue what you like. 
7. Its never too late - START NOW!!

Mistakes, the stress they create and the remedy....

At times why it happens, that all seems to go wrong. Things which other wise are on auto pilot mode and functions smoothly, that also starts giving trouble. ?
While I dont know why it happens , but all I know is these times are very depressing and does havoc to one's confidence.
What is to be done in this situation??Stay put and stay calm- easier said than done

That's the max you can do. Irritation and frustration will want to creep inside you and take control of your entire body , mind and soul. You just put a no entry board for it.
Just try and sail thru, dont get your ego in place. It is given its a bad time, so even if you have to just listen and absorb what is being said - be it.
Please understand this is a phase - like all others. And this one phase can not , rather should not rule your life. This too shall pass , and you and your confidence will remain happily ever after.

What causes more stress to us is - what will happen to my image ? I am know as the best cook in my entire family , how can I mess up the bhindi ki subzi in a family dinner ? Or I am the rockstar of my team , have got so many awards, what will bosses think of me when they get to know I did this mistake. ? I am such an amazing driver, my friends swear by my driving skills,  hell will break when they get to know I bumped the car while parking .
These are just very basic and few example , all of us if we think deeper along with the consequences of any mistake that we do , harm to our image is part of the package.

Get over it people, you are a human and making mistakes is destined for you. Dont be over critical for yourself and ruthless towards your own self.

Esp I have seen people going thru miserable time, when some blunder happens at work and the hell they go thru. Stress is just to high and you have no one who will just come and tell you its ok. and I am with you

What do you do then ?
close your eyes and think of the person who loves you the most or you love the most. Think with this mistake , what will change between you and him/her. If the answer is nothing- you can smile back
When I am in this situation ( trust me I am thr often :)) ) I just think will my mom love me any less for this? Or my daughter - will she not say " I love you mumma " just because I did this mistake ?
And with all this I feel better and ready to face any situation .

Problem in life is we give too much importance to things/people who have very little meaning in our real life . And people who actually shape our lives or are the reason for us to smile - we ignore them.
We feel career gives us happiness and satisfaction , money , victory gives me pleasure. Truth is nothing but just pure love , affection and caring is what can give you happiness.

Chase Beigns Now.....

How Often it is that you get to do work of your choice? Something you really enjoy ??

Reasons for not having a work of choice can be many :

- You dont know what exactly is your choice
- Your choice doest have as much money as a main stream job
- Its not practical to do what you like
- You dont like any thing
- You realized your choice too late in life and now you dont have time to follow it

Reasons can be whatever- but the fact remains we all in some place and more often than not our hear lies somewhere else .

I still remember when I saw " Dil toh pagal hai" - I was in so much love with the movie and the Dance group. I thought I found my true profession - would join a company like this and do stage shows. It will be so much fun even when you are just rehearsing with friends. Even working hard would be fun as it is dance and drama. Plus in breaks you get to eat Pizza , burger and no tension of exercise either. :)

Little did I realize that , no Sharukh khan or Yash Chopra will land up at my door step and hire me for this . I need to make efforts towards it.

I really have loads of respect for all those who are able to pursue their passions and able to do something that they really like. I know a lot of people who while doing their normal office jobs also find out time for following their passions.

But mostly people like me get trapped in this maize known as life. It keeps giving us tasks and we get into just finishing those. And just loose the sight is that life is for living and not fulfilling tasks. And life is a perfectionist in keeping us engaged with too many tasks without fail.
Then these set of people will sit some day tired to look back in life and feel - " what have we done" wasted life in just accomplishing tasks where we could do so much

Everyone , and read it again everyone has a talent and a hidden passion. Its just that we dont pay attention to what we like.

Following what you like can give you un-matched happiness and satisfaction. It requires a little strength and lot of determination to follow . But incase you get there you will not be just a happy person but a happy soul
Enough time is wasted in cribbing about not liking what we do. Its time for us to create what we love and like.

And why am I preaching this?? Because while I write and get others to do it...its more for myself. As I am too a part of that " most group "  that just feels sad for not getting what we want.

Lets all chase ourselves, and lets have happy souls all around!!